Officials announced last week the renaming of the former “University of New Mexico” following executive actions. It will now be called the University of New America, and anybody who calls it by the old name will be punished immediately.
In lieu of the “Lobos,” UNA will also have a new mascot: the Wolves — because President Donald Trump threatened the school’s federal funding if it “did not respect the official language of the United States,” he said at a press conference last week.
“Everyone’s a Wolf. Woof, woof, woof,” students chanted halfheartedly at last night’s basketball game.
UNA senior Al Pha slipped up during the chant and accidentally referred to UNA athletes as the “Lobos.” Officers shot him on sight, and he retained minor injuries.
The Daily Wolf initially refused to change our name and style guide, continuing to refer to UNA as its former forsaken name. But UNA President Garnett Stokes began to ban student journalists from covering University events.
At first, reporters stood their ground, covering public University affairs by watching meetings unfold through mail slots in the doors. But after Stokes boarded up the slots and began to publicly shame the Daily Wolf, there was soon no other choice than to refer to UNA by its proper name and mascot.
“We remain committed to ensuring that all students continue to try to feel like we’re not living in a hellscape. But rest assured, UNA will be just as torturous as ‘UNM’ was,” Stokes said, seconds before authorities busted down her doors at the sound of the second acronym.
Lauren Lifke is the managing editor for the Daily Wolf. She can be reached at managingeditor@dailywolf.com or on X @lauren_lifke
Lauren Lifke is the managing editor for the Daily Lobo. She can be reached at managingeditor@dailylobo.com or on Twitter @lauren_lifke
