If you’re cruising on down University, relaxing and feeling good, you might have been lucky enough to spot the University of New Mexico’s newest shuttle bus driver, Valerie Frizzle, known locally as Ms. Frizzle.
Frizzle, although just recently hired, has also been put on temporary leave due to misconduct related to “adventuring.” Her employment at UNM has been questioned in less than a week since her hiring on Tuesday, March 26.
Frizzle is a former elementary school science teacher who was searching for a career change. When the opportunity arose, she decided to begin driving shuttle buses for UNM, Frizzle said.
Frizzle revolutionized Albuquerque transportation by bringing curiosity into the bus, according to student and shuttle bus passenger Car Rapond.
“The Frizz is the best. Usually I see some pretty wacky things around Albuquerque, but she makes the rides even crazier than normal,” Ramon said.
Frizzle’s bus is unlike the others and can shrink down to the size of an atom. Between driving to the different parking lots located across campus, Frizzle enjoys exploring Albuqeruque’s oddities with her passengers, she said.
One of the adventures Frizzle and her passengers partook in was exploring a mysterious stain located on a table outside of the Student Union Building. Another adventure featured Frizzle’s bus shrinking to the size of a bacteria and exploring the food at La Posada Dining Hall.
Recent controversy has surrounded Frizzle after she took bus passengers to explore human anatomy. On Friday, March 29, Frizzle shrank the bus and entered a sandwich ordered by none other than UNM President Garnett Stokes.
Without realizing, Stokes consumed the sandwich, which contained Frizzle and her bus passengers. This adventure shocked students who felt uncomfortable with the endeavor, according to bus passenger and student Arny Pedler.
“I told her ‘Please let this be a normal bus ride.’ Now I have to live with this horrifying discovery,” Pedler said.
Stokes’ anatomy was completely different from what she taught as a science teacher, Frizzle said.
“As we entered the nervous system, we discovered that Stokes is made up entirely of wires and fans. We found absolutely no trace of organic material,” Frizzle said.
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Frizzle and her bus passengers discovered Stokes to be a robot running entirely on oil and gas. An insatiable lust for oil and gas seemed to be driving the mechanics of her central processing unit, according to Frizzle.
“In all my years of education, I never once thought science had gone too far. Not until now,” Frizzle said.
Due to the incident, Frizzle now faces litigation from former bus passenger Pedler. He just wanted a normal bus ride, but instead received great emotional distress which he now suffers from, Pedler said.
Stokes has put Frizzle on temporary leave after hearing of the lawsuit. It is unclear whether the results of the litigation will result in Frizzle’s permanent termination.
“I regret nothing. I did what I could for science. They should be thanking me,” Frizzle said.
Nate Bernard is a beat reporter with the Daily Lobo. He can be reached at news@dailylobo.com or on Twitter @DailyLobo
