Another Rapture caught many students off guard when the LoboAlerts warning system failed to go off in a timely manner, causing many to be stuck in apocalyptic situations.
“When I saw that the sky had turned dark and hordes of locusts were emerging from everywhere, I thought to myself, it would have been nice to know about this an hour ago,” Hellen Fyre, a University of New Mexico junior, said.
Fyre, like many students, was disappointed by the lateness of the LoboAlert, which should warn students before they go into potentially hazardous conditions, such as hellfire erupting from the ground, she said.
“Had I known, I probably would have just slept in and not even tried to go to my 9:30 calc class,” Fyre said.
UNM security officer Joseph Gourd said that, despite the frequency, Raptures can be difficult to predict.
“We try to let students know as soon as we can. We were just as caught off guard by the torrential rain of sinners' blood as the students were. We’re not gifted with clairvoyance. Maybe if we were, we’d stop crimes before they happen,” Gourd said.
Students remain frustrated, however, with the lack of communication from the University about regular emergencies, such as amphibian rain.
“It’s just weird that no text alert went out, no alarms have sounded. I heard the trumpets of Saint Peter way before I got any official messages from the University,” Fyre said. “It’s been raining blood and amphibians for at least two hours now. Even if an alert went out, the Rapture is the kind of thing you want to know about beforehand. What am I supposed to do now? Repent? Seems like too little, too late.”
For those unaware of the ongoing catastrophe, another Rapture has started. Be on the lookout for frogs falling from the sky, ominous red lightning and the water in the duck pond being turned to blood.
“Oh look, here’s the alert,” Fyre said. “‘Divine justice activity everywhere. Students are advised to remain indoors.’”
Be sure to sign up for LoboAlerts to be alerted to time-sensitive safety concerns, eventually. Or don’t. It’s not like it matters. There are none sinless among you. None shall be spared.
Addison Fulton is a freelance reporter for the Daily Lobo. She can be reached at culture@dailylobo.com
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