OPINION: Staying connected with friends and family while at school

As I enter my sophomore year at the University of New Mexico, I, like many others, am coming out of a summer filled with friends and family that I haven’t seen since January. Now that school is starting, I am getting ready to say goodbye to them for the next few months. However, if my first year taught me anything (it certainly didn’t teach me statistics), there are plenty of ways to keep in touch with those you aren’t going to see for a few months.

A bit of an “old-fashioned” option, but an enjoyable way of keeping in touch, is exchanging letters with friends and family. Sending and receiving a handwritten letter feels personal, and they can be as long or as short as you want.

I exchanged letters with my own friend and have kept all the ones she’s written as a lovely keepsake that brings a smile to my face when I’m missing her. If you live in the dorms, the Student Residence Center Commons has a mailroom to send and receive letters. I love when I receive mail — it’s even better when it's from a loved one.

Of course, another option is texting, phone calls and Facetime. In the modern era, your phone is one of your greatest tools for staying in touch with loved ones. I can’t tell you how often I Facetimed a friend during the school year and talked for hours about all sorts of things. Sending a text can seem difficult when you haven’t spoken in a while. However, a simple ‘Hi’ can be just what is needed to reach out and spark a conversation.

One way I keep in contact with loved ones is through daily exchange of Wordle scores. It’s a small thing that helps me feel more connected to multiple people and can lead to conversations when the Wordle is especially difficult (or just plain dumb).

Wordles aren’t the only thing that can be shared to start a conversation. Snapchat memories, TikToks (I have a list labeled “To send to Friends” under my saved TikToks) or even things you run into during the day that remind you of that loved one you want to talk to can be a perfect way to start a conversation.

One of my favorite things to do when I feel homesick and miss friends is to set up a movie night with a friend. We log onto Zoom, pick where we want to watch a movie (Netflix and Disney+ are the easiest to navigate for group watch sessions) and settle in. I know a lot of people are beyond done with Zoom, however, it opens an excellent door for staying in touch with those far away and is something I plan to continue using this year.

All of this being said, you still should be prepared to lose some friends — it's the way of life when you no longer live near those you’ve been friends with as you build new lives in new places.

Perhaps you’ll get lucky and won't lose any friends, and that'll be great. But if you do, it's okay — sometimes it's just drifting apart, and sometimes it’s realizing a person you've been friends with for years is toxic and not worth the time of day. A benefit of college is a chance to meet new people who will be in your life for years to come.

My first year of college led me to meet some of my favorite people and has only added to those who I count among my dearest friends. While working to keep in touch with friends and family out of state, go out and meet people around the University. It's nerve-wracking and can be difficult, but those you meet and click with make it well worth it.

All in all, keep in touch with those you want to, let those who don't value you go and step out of your comfort zone to meet new people whenever possible. Who knows — they might become your lifelong friends.

Elizabeth Secor is a freelance reporter for the Daily Lobo. She can be contacted at culture@dailylobo.com or on Twitter @esecor2003

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