@JoshuaDolin
Have you ever flirted with someone? You know — sent them winkey faces in texts, pretended to be interested in their sports, watched their favorite movie, etc.
Have you ever done it with someone who lives 1,000 miles away? Or with someone you have never even met?
Welcome to the world of long-distance flirtationships. A flirtationship is when you engage in the act of flirting with someone, but never actually date them.
Last week I went to Salt Lake City with Ashley and Alice for a short vacation. Alice needed to go for business, and Ashley and I went for the blond Mormon men. My new favorite part of traveling, however, is Tinder.
Tinder describes itself as “a fun way to meet new people.” Essentially it is an app for iPhones that connects you with other single people nearby.
Dating used to be done at bars, coffee shops, clubs, and Bringham Young University, but now you can do it from the comfort of your own smartphone.
If you are single and you have not downloaded Tinder yet, stop everything you are doing and visit the app store immediately.
Here is how it works:
1) You create a profile by linking the app to your Facebook account (no, it will not tell Facebook friends that you are on it).
2) You choose a picture and write a short bio.
3) You go through all the singles in your area by giving their picture a “heart” (which indicates you like them), or an “X” (which indicates you are not interested).
4) You wait.
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5) If that hot single also gives you a heart, you “Match” and can begin chatting with them.
It’s new, it’s fun, and it is taking over our generation. Guys use it, girls use it, and even gay boys use it. And yes, it does primarily match people based on their physical appearance.
Because Albuquerque has a small population and a limited number of homosexuals, I look forward to utilizing it whenever I visit a new city.
While we were waiting for our connecting flight in Denver, Ashley and I spent the entire time swiping through potential matches. Hot man after hot man kept flashing through our screens, and the best part — we were matching with all of them!
“No no, no, yes, oh yes, OH hello there!” Ashley said as she was going through all of her new options.
“No, nope, yes, yes, YES! We’ve got a live one here!” I said as I showed off my attractive matches to Ashley and Alice.
Not only would she and I match with these guys, but they would initiate the chat with us as well. The best part about this app is that it is trusted. Because it links through Facebook, you have a much better idea of who you are talking to, which makes it safer.
Another interesting thing about this app is its social acceptance.
We used to make fun of people who did online dating, but Tinder is really starting to become the norm.
Alice, who is still in a relationship, did not approve of our activity. “That’s just stupid. You don’t know any of these people and you will never have a chance to meet any of them,” Alice said.
Still, she couldn’t help but look over our shoulder and voice her opinion about the potential guys.
In Denver, Ashley and I each had more matches than we could keep up with before it was time to board our next flight.
As soon as the plane landed in Salt Lake City, we were back at it with a whole new pool of guys to sort through. By the time we made it to baggage claim, we had both already been asked out on dates.
“Mormons have BYU, and we have Tinder,” Ashley and I said. “BYU isn’t just a college, it’s a dating service!”
Once you leave Albuquerque, it is almost as if you have found the “El Dorado” of single attractive men.
We spent all night chatting with different guys, and the rest of the trip was spent getting notifications every 10 minutes about a new match. Before long I noticed that Ashley was not on the app anymore, she was texting.
“Well, I am talking to four guys right now. They are my favorite ones so I gave them my number,” she said.
I had done the same thing. In the course of the weekend I had matched with well over 100 guys, but I really only talked to 4-5 of them in depth. And these conversations were nothing but flirtation.
“It’s because it is so much fun to flirt,” I told Alice who still didn’t understand.
“Look at this guy, Trevor — he is 23, works at an advertising firm, and likes Disney. What more could I want from a man?”
“Or this one, Alex — he is from Minnesota, he likes the outdoors, and he likes to watch the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.”
“Or this one, Tate — he is on the golf team at UVU, likes Modern Family, and takes his dog on runs.”
I could have continued, but Ashley and I were too busy matching with new people.
Although Ashley and I did get asked out by a lot of men, we never had time to see any while we were there. So it should be over, right? We could not see them or meet them, so there would be no point to keep talking, right?
I told all of the guys in Denver and Salt Lake City that I was from Albuquerque and was already home. But they kept talking to me.
I am still talking to these guys every few days about my classes, work, likes/dislikes, or anything else, and I get along with them really well. We text, are friends on Facebook, and even follow each other on Twitter. So you could say that these flirtationships are getting pretty serious.
Ashley does the same thing. She met a guy on Tinder who she could not stop talking to because he was the first guy she met that matched her moral values.
“This guy that I have been texting all week is also waiting for marriage to have sex!” Ashley said. “He is perfect. We have been talking all week and I just want to marry him right now.”
Ashley and I are not alone. Tinder is downloaded 10,000-20,000 times per day and is growing in popularity every minute.
At UNM, my friends and I have been matched with guys from the soccer team, basketball team, football team, homecoming court and dean’s list, to just name a few.
Tinder is so revolutionary because this is the new way for people in our generation to meet. Or, in my case, to not even meet and just flirt.
Collette is also on Tinder and she communicates with people around the country.
“I talk to them just because it’s fun, even though we both know we would never date. Because of the distance we don’t expect anything out of it, so it makes it more relaxed and open. It’s like no-strings-attached flirting,” she said.
Collette is exactly right. I like talking to all of my matches even when I am back in Albuquerque because they are nice, intelligent, interesting, and it is fun. But the most honest reason that any of us engage in long-distance flirtationships is because it makes us feel good about ourselves. After a while of being single, we all like the feeling of knowing someone is interested in us, even if they live halfway across the country.
In a way, Tinder is like a game. You can go through the options with your friends and click the heart button for the attractive guys, and when they match with you, you win. Then you can chat with them and switch to texting if you really like them.
It is true that you will probably never meet them, but is there something wrong with being in a monogamish flirtationship?
Are Ashley and I going to continue these texting flirtationships with guys forever, or will they eventually lose interest? Is Tinder the new way to meet future dates or even husbands/wives?
Can entire relationships now be determined by clicking a “heart” or an “X”? And in our modern dating environment, are we still considered single if we are in a #Flirtationship?
Current Relationship Statuses:
Josh: In multiple flirtationships
Ashley: In a flirtationship, and it’s serious
Alice: Stuck around people in flirtationships
Collette: In a no-strings-attached flirtationship
Aurora: Flirting with her dogs
Maggie: Flirting with the idea of exercise
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