Wooley’s Weekly Wisdom

Don’t subject allergic roommate to puppy

Dear Wooley,

I was hanging out with my best friend on Saturday morning, catching up over breakfast, hitting up garage sales and eventually finding our way to an ASPCA adoption site in front of a local grocery store. They had puppies and I fell in love. They were so cute and I just knew I had to have one.

I live with my roommate, so I called her to see if she’d be down with me bringing a puppy home. She told me to hold off until I got home. When I did, she told me she had allergies and said she didn’t think either of us would have enough time to take care of a puppy, though she did think the picture I took on my phone was way cute.

I’ve been thinking about it all week, and I really want to go get this dog regardless of what my roommate says. I love my roomie, but is this worth moving out over? Or should I just surprise her and bring home the pup?

-Puppy Love

Dear Puppy Love,

I love dogs. All ages, all types. And I think you have to not have a heart to not love puppies, even if you are allergic.

Still, as long as you’re choosing to live with this person, part of being a good roommate is respecting her opinion when it comes to mutual pets. Having talked to her and gotten her two cents, if you are dead-set on getting this dog, you may want to consider moving out based on the current living agreement.

I also think it’s important to say that folks like the ASPCA and Animal Humane New Mexico are incredible people who do amazing work helping, protecting and loving our furry friends in need. They have so many loving, caring animals that need a home and if you are able, willing and want a loving pet companion, these are the perfect places to find them.

That said, make sure you consider the animal and make sure their life is a priority to you, too. As much endless, unconditional love cats, dogs and other animals give, they need to be loved too.

All too often, I see people who adopt pets without considering the commitment. Some folks leave their dog in the backyard by herself for eight or more hours a day, never walk the dog or leave her in her cage for way too long. It’s not fair to the animal and, yes, dogs have feelings, too. Even if your heart is willing, make sure the rest of your life and schedule can accommodate an additional priority — man’s best friend.

Don’t beat yourself up over hookup, move on

Dear Wooley,

A friend and I had sex this weekend. It was my first time, and while it wasn’t his, we just kind of hooked up. I’m conflicted in my emotions and don’t really know how to move forward. I wasn’t intoxicated and he was, but this is something we’ve talked about doing, half seriously, half jokingly. Well we did it just to do it, and it was fun and all, but it didn’t mean anything. I kind of struggle with that.

I grew up in a conservative, Christian household and I do still have those values and beliefs, which may be why I still feel weird about it. But at the same time, I also know that as much as I used him to feel something, he used me to get what he wanted, too. It was mutual.

I guess I’m just looking for how I move on. I don’t see myself or him as bad people, but things didn’t go the way I thought they would, and now I’m unsure about actual, meaningful relationships I have moving forward and how this will affect them. Do you have any insight?

-Moving on From Loss of V-Card

Dear Moving On,

College is a time when a lot of people experiment, both with themselves and others, doing things they’ve never done before. This experimentation isn’t by any means a universal thing, and while the “Animal House” stereotype is definitely available, it’s not always the norm.

What I would say to you is that it’s not the end of the world.
Yes, sex is a personal thing because our bodies are personal and individual, and how we identify with ourselves and others is personal. Your Christian background probably discourages sex before marriage, but if I remember correctly, it also offers grace and mercy for inadequacies. Mercy is not giving someone what they do deserve and grace is giving someone a gift they don’t deserve.

If your faith is still a guiding factor in your life, find peace in forgiveness and allow yourself to see the light of another day.
As far as future relationships, no one is perfect and everyone has done things that they either regret or are unsure of. We all make mistakes. That said, you have to be happy with you. Allow yourself to move on. Find your value and worth and hold onto that.

Future friends, current family and whoever you may pursue romantically will love you for you, but you’ve got to learn to love yourself. You practice that. Don’t use others to make yourself feel a certain way and people will recognize that. Choose the people you associate with and really be intentional about your life, your body and where you want to go.

In the grand scheme of things, there are so many more tomorrows you have to live and enjoy. Forgive your friend and yourself, and then press on to everything you have left to do.

If you have questions and need answers, please send an email to Wooleysweeklywisdom@gmail.com. He’ll be more than happy to answer any questions or concerns you might have. Be sure to check out his Facebook page, ask-ryan-wooley.