Befriend more Lobos to fully experience UNM
Dear Wooley,
I’ve got two years left until I graduate from UNM and leave Albuquerque. Some colleges have come up with a personalized list of things students should do before they graduate in order to get the full experience. What are some things I shouldn’t miss out on as a Lobo?
-Lobo wanting more
Dear Lobo,
If it’s a checklist of events you want, go talk to the folks in the Student Activities Center at the bottom of the Student Union Building. They’ve got plenty of stuff they can tell you about that is happening all year long.
That said, the “full experience” of being in college is unique to everyone. I think it’d be lame if there were a yearly checklist of everything you needed to do in order to really be a Lobo.
The reality is that less than 10 percent of UNM students live on campus and most of us are commuters. That doesn’t make the college experience any less meaningful for folks involved in residence life.
Some students have the pleasure of working on campus, their work schedule based around their school schedule. Such a student’s college experience is probably going to be different from the single mom who has three kids, takes classes on weekends and works 40 hours a week.
Still, I think there’s beauty in the diversity of this campus, and if there was any way to fully experience UNM, it’d be to try to take the time and really meet people. Not those who look like you and have shared interests, though those people are good to know. Meet people you wouldn’t normally meet, strike up a conversation and have coffee even.
When I look back on school, it’s not going to be that calculus final I studied my tail off for or the 40 page research essay that’ll be my fondest memories of UNM. I can only speak for myself, but for me, it’s the laughs I had with friends, the adventures we took and all the craziness that ensued.
UNM has incredible students, staff and faculty members who are all different, all passionate about something. If you’re looking for the full experience, I’d challenge you to go meet these people, share life with them and then go share your life with the world.
Shared interests can take on-stage love into reality
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Dear Wooley,
My colleague and I were cast to play each other’s love interests in a show, and I can’t tell if I actually like him, or if it’s just a stage crush from being so close to each other all of rehearsal. Is he worth pursuing?
-Confused about real life and play
Dear Confused.
This sounds like the plot to a movie.
I say go for it. Why not? If you’re comfortable portraying another person with your crush, what could it hurt to play yourself?
Especially because there’s already romantic chemistry and the common interest of theater, I think you would have fun. There’s nothing more romantic than two passionate people pursuing their similar passion together.
Just make sure that in whatever dates ya’ll go on, there’s more substance than role-play, though role-play isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Let the true you shine through and you’ll have him hooked.
On the off chance he’s not interested: no worries. There are plenty of fellas out there. I think it was Shakespeare who fittingly said, “All the world’s a stage, and all the women and men merely players.” So go have fun, take a chance with this fella and play.
Paths in life diverge and not all friendships last
Dear Wooley,
I feel like I’ve outgrown my group of friends. They’re a good group of guys, but I just find myself having outgrown their values and mind-setas. I don’t enjoy doing the things we used to do together, and when they call me up to hang out, I honestly just don’t pick up the phone anymore.
We’ve been through a lot together and I do care about them, but I just feel my life is going in a different direction. Does not spending as much time with them make me a jerk? How do I stop feeling so guilty about not wanting to be around them?
-Falling out with friends
Dear Falling,
I don’t think you’re a jerk. Some folks really do grow apart. We all have our own lives, passions, interests and investments, and I don’t think it’s reasonable that you’ll always be close, intimate friends with every single person you meet or have ever hung out with.
That said, don’t leave your posse in the dark. Be careful with the words you choose and just let them know that you have different things you’re trying in life and other passions and people you’re investing in. If you truly care about them, don’t forget to tell them that, but you have to live your life, too. You also can’t beat yourself up if your friends don’t understand.
True friends will support you regardless of what you do. Granted, if you make stupid decisions, true friends also have the right to slap you upside the head and sit you down for some real talk. However, when it comes to minor things like you wanting to go do new things and meet new people, friends should understand, even if it may hurt.
That said, I’ve had the opportunity to live in a lot of different places and meet a lot of different people. True friends, regardless of where you are or what path you take, will be your friends forever.
If you have questions and need answers, please send an email to Wooleysweeklywisdom@gmail.com. He’ll be more than happy to answer any questions or concerns you might have. Be sure to check out his Facebook page, ask-ryan-wooley.
