Growth takes time but is well worth the wait
Dear Wooley,
I get really frustrated waiting for my life to happen. I feel like I’m wasting my time when I could be doing something more productive.
I know I have to “seize the day” and go after the things I want in life, but I don’t like how much time it takes to find out if what I am doing or the people I’m hoping will be there for me are worth waiting for.
Being in this place feels like I can’t move forward, so what do I do in the meantime? I also wonder, if I didn’t spend the time to wait for things I wished would happen, would I actually be missing anything?
-At a Crossroads
Dear Crossroads,
As much as “seizing the day” and being intentional with our actions can shape the life we have and move us “forward,” there’s also a lot in life that we can’t control. Knowing that we’re not in control of every aspect of our lives isn’t a popular idea. We also live within the constraints of time. Our lives have “seasons” we go through. Some seasons have lessons we learn, some introduce new people into our lives and others take them away. Some are times where we can’t do what we want to do because we aren’t ready yet. We have to learn something or grow in some way before we can step into that season. They all are important though, and add to our story.
For example, why can’t a sophomore in high school say, “Screw this,” drop out and go be a doctor? Well, they could, maybe … but it’d be super sketchy and dangerous, and they’d end up hurting someone. Similarly, if someone who is aspiring to be an engineer attempted to build a bridge but didn’t have the right knowledge, that bridge would fall down.
In that sense, waiting isn’t a waste of time because while you wait, you can work toward that thing you’re waiting for, through your day-to-day decisions about how to invest your time. Depending on your mind-set, with this time you can also develop the virtue of patience and a greater appreciation for that thing you’re waiting for.
Sometimes, I don’t think it’s a matter of waiting in itself that causes people to wonder. It’s their desire for immediacy and a quick answer. When people don’t get that quick answer or the answer they want, they then try out their own or try to find a better answer, instead of waiting.
Our generation hates delays. Waiting is not always a bad thing, though. The desire for a product to be delivered or to get to the next destination or point in our life is so in the forefront of our minds that we often discount the process that developed the product, or the journey that took us to that destination. That process is not always pretty or easy, but it is essential for people to go through in order to further themselves toward dreams and goals.
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When you make cookies, you can combine the dry and wet ingredients, mix them all together, add the chocolate chips, separate the individual globs of dough on to the sheet and then throw them in the oven.
But then you have to wait for them to bake, and that takes time. All the things that happen to those delicious globs of dough that transform them into cookies couldn’t take place without that last step of the process: waiting. Recognizing the reason for each season or appreciating the process can help keep you focused during times of waiting.
And I think you should go make cookies.
During Spring Break, rest to return at your best
Dear Wooley,
This week of midterms is going to be the end of me. Studying and writing papers every waking second is all I’ve been doing. I’m exhausted. Spring Break could not come soon enough. Do you have any hope for surviving this week and enjoying the next one?
-Mad over Midterms
Dear Mad,
Do what you have to do. Midterms and Finals weeks should be times where we just kick back because we’ve studied all semester and are perfectly fluent in the language of whatever our classes are.
Of course, that’s never the case, and everyone is spending ridiculous time stressing, studying and writing papers. Do what you need to do and get it done.
What most people fail to do is actually rest during Spring Break. For some, rest comes in the form of being around other people and going out. Some people may rest with simple activities such as reading or knitting. Plenty of people just shut down and sleep for three days straight, and that’s okay.
Spring Break is there for just that reason. You need a break, so take it. Just make sure that however you need to rest, you actually get rest. Otherwise, you’ll come back from your break and be exhausted, unable to think and still stressing about tests and papers.
If you have questions and need answers, please send an email to Wooleysweeklywisdom@gmail.com. He’ll be more than happy to answer any questions or concerns you might have. Be sure to check out his Facebook page, ask-ryan-wooley.
