If you have questions and need answers, please send an email to Wooleysweeklywisdom@gmail.com He’ll be more than happy to answer any questions or concerns you might have. Be sure to check out his Facebook page, Ask Ryan Wooley.
Don’t break up with her on her birthday
Dear Wooley,
I’m dating this gal, and I have been for a few months. She’s cool and all, but with Valentine’s Day coming up, it has got me thinking that I really don’t want to be with this girl. There’s nothing wrong with her or anything; she just doesn’t excite me anymore sexually. Any advice on how to let her go easily?
-Fizzled out
Dear Fizzled,
It’s real simple. Find out her birthday and make sure you don’t break up with her on that day — or via answering machine. Ted Mosby found that out the hard way.
I think you should meet her face-to-face and tell her exactly what you’ve told me. She’ll probably be just as relieved to be rid of you as you are of her. Problem solved. Honesty is the best policy, after all.
Snape was a hero in the end, professors care
Dear Wooley,
I’m stuck in this class with an awful professor. I have to take the course for my major, and this is the only professor who teaches it. I have a lot of passion for my major, but I’ve heard such awful things about this teacher, and I don’t want to wait until next year to take it because I’m hoping to graduate soon. How do I survive?!
-Stuck with Severus Snape
Dear Stuck,
It’s only the second week of classes. Chill. If you’re truly freaking out, talk to the teaching assistants in the class — or even the professor.
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Yes, there are a few profs who are arrogant and mean, and who are secretly pullin’ for you to fail. The majority of professors, however, aren’t like that. Most of them want to help you.
They’re dedicating this time in their lives to research and education, typically because they love their field of study and they want their students to love it, too. Show them your passion through your work, your questions and conversations you initiate.
Some professors will push you away and not give you the time of day, but for the most part, they really like when students drop by. Give this professor a chance. Take the first step by reaching out to him or her.
I think you’ll find things will work out better than you would have expected, and you may even gain a mentor.
If, for some reason, it really doesn’t work out and you still feel stuck, you can always ask for help. You can drop the class and pick up another one. You can even change your major and avoid the class altogether! Or you can stick it out for another 15 weeks and give it your best shot. You’ll probably pass if you put in the work. Have faith in yourself.
During parents’ divorce, seek sympathetic ears
Dear Wooley,
I just got back from winter break and my Christmas wasn’t so “merry.” On the evening before flying back to the ‘Burque, my mom and dad — married for 25 years — sat me down and told me they were getting a divorce.
They just said they didn’t love each other anymore. I came home the next day and thought I’d just move on by getting back in the swing of things and ignoring it, but it’s the complete opposite.
It’s all I think about. Can you help?
-Dealing with divorce
Dear Dealing,
My heart is heavy for you. Divorce is ugly and painful. I’m sincerely sorry you are walking through this.
I’m the child of divorced parents. Statistically, about half of the people on campus have either had a divorce or come from a split family, but I know that doesn’t make what you’re going through any easier. I just state that because you should know you’re not alone.
You’re never alone unless you choose to be. It’s very difficult to do what I’m about to suggest, but please don’t isolate yourself, and don’t keep all your thoughts and emotions inside. It’ll eat you up.
I’d suggest going and talking to a counselor at Student Health and Counseling. Counseling is free with some insurance plans, and still very cheap without insurance. They’ll just sit and listen to you if that’s all you want them to do. They can help you figure out what you’re feeling and walk through this with you.
If you don’t feel comfortable with that, or you don’t like the formal setting, confide in a trusted friend. The point is that you need someone you can talk to about this.
There is a tendency to think that, somewhere along the way, it’s your fault that your parents split. You’re not to blame. Don’t think that.
There are a number of reasons why people decide to split up, but I’ve never heard of parents loving their offspring less after a divorce or blaming the divorce on the kid. It’s not your fault.
You are loved by your parents, your family and your friends. Cling to them while you’re mourning and let them in. The vulnerability of being honest and open with yourself and your feelings can be scary and painful, but don’t walk through this alone.
I just want you to know that regardless of how angry and confused you may feel, this is going to be okay. You are going to be okay.
