Hey Lobos! We are happy to introduce our newest columnist and advice giver, Ryan Wooley. His column will be a weekly feature. He’s been on the campus for a while now, works in CAPS, and is an all-around good guy from whom to get advice. Without further ado, here’s the first entry:
Can’t wait for Winter Break
I’m having some troubles staying motivated for my classes and homework, any advice on how to stay motivated till Christmas break?
Burning out in ‘Burque
Dear Burning,
First off, you should know everyone hits “the wall” around this time of the year.
Here are some tips that may help:
Get off Facebook: I know most of us are addicted, so even if it’s just for an hour at a time, focus for that hour, then take 10 minutes and do whatever you want. Then have another strong hour of focus.
Balls up: Tell your friends you have to get your work done, regardless of the cost. It’s amazing how much money you save not going out and how much less stressed you and your friends will be when you’re not all out at the movies, each thinking of the papers you have to begin writing for the next day’s class.
Make a list/schedule: I’m a visual person, so if I can write out every single thing I have due, that in itself helps put things into perspective. Then, ask yourself what the biggest and smallest items on your list are … and knock ‘em out one-by-one. Some like to start with the smallest and easiest things because they feel like they build momentum to conquer their academic behemoths. I like to start with the biggest one and work down through the easy stuff.
Planning/Time Management: This one is really the most important.
Know where your time is going and set yourself up to succeed, with planned time just to write your paper or just to study, and then stick to it. Don’t let friends or distractions get in the way.
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Granted, we love our friends, but they’re probably in the same boat you are (and it sucks taking a class over again, I assure you). Plan times to study, plan times for homework and paper writing, and I don’t mean the night before it’s due. If you give yourself time, you’ll be much less stressed and the quality of your work will be better.
Remember the money you spent: How much money are you paying for tuition and/or books? Remember that dough — don’t waste it.
Working out: When you get tired from working so hard, or you can’t think of how to reframe what you’re trying to say in a paper, sometimes a simple run around the block can help. You’ll get your blood pumping and have time to “run” over the situation in your mind.
And finally, sleep: If you do everything before this step that I said, good, but make it a priority to sleep. You can’t function on no sleep … er, some can. You won’t function/think/do as good of work as if you sleep.
I hope this helps you out. Ultimately though, it’s up to you!
Reset your mind and focus.
Can I make love persist?
Do you think that if love is persistent, it will prevail? I guess this can’t really be summed up by this simple question, because sometimes the other end may be opposing, or be consumed by fear that love will fail, which could hold them from pursuing what could be. But anyway, do you think if so, it will?
Lobo in Love
Dear Lobo,
Good question. I’ll answer by reframing your question — you ask if love is persistent and will prevail. I’ll ask you, does love ever fail?
A lot of people define “love” in different ways. For me, the best definition I can find out of everything I’ve read or seen is in the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. It reads:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
It’s beautiful, right? But what does it mean, and is it true?
Well, I think that’s up to some people to decide for themselves.
As for me, I really like this definition of love because it describes its characteristics as if it were a person. I’d say, “well, she’s about this high, brunette, amazing smile, and she really enjoys …”
It tells us basically that when we love, it is selfless, giving, ridiculously unlike the world we know or how most relationships are. If this is true love, and people operate in this form of love, if they love others the way this verse is described, how very beautiful would that be? I don’t think that kind of love could ever fail.
Getting back to your original question, I think that love in itself is persistent. It has to be, in order for it to be patient, trusting, and hopeful. As far as love prevailing, I don’t know. I think if you accept the definition found in 1 Corinthians to be true, love can’t prevail because love has no goals.
Having looked at a definition of love, I’ve addressed what I feel love is, that it is persistent as a characteristic in nature and does (in itself) prevail. However, I hate to assume your intent, but I’m guessing this is unsatisfactory for you.
I think your specific question and most people’s questions leave out the most important variable: We are so simple and yet complex in our emotions and thoughts, how we act and why we do what we do.
We don’t think of love in the way described above because our experiences with each other have conditioned us to think otherwise. When we start trying to love others, we are often vulnerable, and that’s scary for some. Naturally, because we are human, we will screw up and some people get hurt.
I’ll end with this: We’re all human and on this Earth together. We are communicative and relational beings. We can’t even survive as babies without someone taking care of us. Then we learn to walk and talk by watching others.
If you truly love someone, that’s amazing. Love them whole-heartedly, but know that the person with which you are in love has no responsibility to love you back. It’s completely counter to our cultural way of thinking, but that’s the beauty of love, that it’s a one-way gift, given out of free will without logical reason or expectation.
If you have questions that need answering please send an email to rwooley@unm.edu He’d be more than happy to answer any questions or concerns you might have. Be sure to check out his facebook page ask-ryan-wooley.
