I got injured playing defense in recreational soccer last weekend. Fell on my ribs trying — unsuccessfully — to prevent a goal. It got me thinking about pain. Hey, I figured it was better than dwelling on our defeat.
Pain is a very complicated experience, and everyone feels it differently. I have seen people with grotesque deformities, smiling and chatting, seeming impossibly comfortable. I have seen others with barely a scratch scream bloody murder. We all have different tolerance levels for pain, and even our own threshold will change from day to day, depending on what else is stressing our system.
If you haven’t slept well in two weeks, are struggling with school, are fighting with your girlfriend and you get injured on top of all that, it’s probably going to hurt a lot more than it would without all those pre-existing nerve bashers. Your tolerance is down.
Years ago I saw a “Peanuts” cartoon. Lucy has to go to the dentist and she’s complaining to Charlie Brown. He says to her, “You’re not afraid of a little pain, are you?” Her retort is classic: “Of course I am! Pain hurts!”
We often think of pain as inherently bad, undesirable, to be avoided. But pain can be a useful signal that your body needs something. If you sprain your ankle, it will give you pain if you walk on it, so you tend not to put weight on it. This is a good thing.
Your body will heal better if you don’t re-injure an injured part.
If I try to run this week, my ribs will hurt, because they’re not healed enough to handle the stress of hard breathing and a jarring gait. My body tells me to be still, so I rest and heal.
If your body hurts somewhere, pay attention. It could be a signal that something is needed. If you are injured, you probably need to rest. If you have pain without injury, it could mean anything from physical illness to emotional trauma. Listen to your body so you can take steps to heal.
This is not to suggest you whine and wallow. Focusing too much on your pain can make it worse. Remember that pain is something you have, not something you are. It is part of your entire experience.
Natalie Goldberg, a writer and a student of Buddhism, said, “Suffering is when you want the pain to stop.” When I first heard that, I was baffled. How can you have pain without suffering?
Aren’t they one and the same? Why wouldn’t you want pain to stop?
I have also heard this sentiment expressed as, “Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.” Suffering, in this view, happens when you want something other than what you have. Whether this is a new iPhone, a date with that hottie in math class, or an end to your pain, as long as you want what you don’t have, and don’t have what you want, you will suffer. If you can accept life as it is, the thinking goes, you won’t suffer.
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Sometimes life is painful. There’s no denying it, so we might as well accept it. Accepting pain doesn’t mean it won’t hurt, and it doesn’t mean you have to like it, but you might be surprised to find that pain passes quicker if you don’t try to push it away.
Acknowledge pain, and acknowledge everything else as well. My ribs hurt … And the sun is shining. When I remember to expand my view like that, my ribs hurt less. When I don’t, my world collapses down to the size of a rib contusion.
Ouch. All this philosophical arm waving has made my ribs sore. Please pass the ibuprofen.
If you need help please come to Student Health and Counseling (SHAC) or call us at 277-3136 for an appointment.
Dr. Peggy Spencer is a student health physician. She is also the co-author of “50 ways to leave your 40s.” Email your questions directly to her at pspencer@unm.edu. All questions will be considered anonymous, and all questioners will remain anonymous.
This column has general health information and cannot replace a trip to a health provider.
