Before you ‘pre-board,’ leave your brain at security

I took a public speaking class about a million years ago and learned that humans only actually use about one-quarter of the available vocabulary in the English language.  

For example, we will say “ran quickly” instead of “raced.”  Yeah, it’s really that simple when you look at it.  Despite this phonetic availability, we manage to massacre words and phrases on a daily basis, and even make up words and phrases that make no sense.

My dad has pointed out phrases that drive him over the wall of crazy.  

One of his favorites is “pre-board.” When you wait for your plane in the boarding area, and the attendant gets on the PA to let people know that certain people and those with children can “pre-board.”  

A couple of things jump out at me right at the get-go with this.  
First of all, if you are the unlucky parent of a small child about to board an aircraft, why on Earth would you want to get on the plane any sooner?  Second of all, how exactly does one “pre-board” anything?  The prefix “pre” would imply that you will do something before boarding, meaning getting on the plane. Essentially, you are being asked to get on the plane before you get on the plane.

Another combination of words that has never really made sense to me is the term for teeth appearing later in life.  We refer to them as “wisdom teeth.”  Since the teeth arrive later, it is thought that people are wiser. In other words, kids aren’t born with them; they come in when you are an adult.  

Well, I could say a lot there, but rather I’ll just comment on the simple expression “wisdom teeth.”  It occurred to me the other day that if a dentist were to take them out, would we then be dumber?  Do I want to lose anything I may contain within my body that would assist in my intelligence level?  Why not just call them “take-out teeth”?  Since whenever you hear about them coming in, shortly thereafter, you hear they have to come out.

Here’s is another expression I have questions about: “Ignorance is bliss.”  Actually, ignorance, as defined, does not mean bliss, happy or any other words synonymous with the aforementioned.  It means being uninformed, ignorant and lacking education.  

Now if that is someone’s idea of happiness, well, so be it.  The other day, I saw this same expression modified: “If ignorance is bliss, why are there not more happy people in the world?”  I like that one better.
Makes more sense.