It all starts with the right shows

I am excited for fall TV, which probably means I actively hate books, so much so that during commercial breaks, I run out of the room to burn down libraries.

It also means that I have no intelligence. Because I enjoy TV, I have a short attention span and am incapable of completing. Fish. Seven up. Chester the Cheeto Cheetah. Toilet bowl cleaner.

Yup, unless my ass is parked on the couch with a laugh track blasting, I don’t care.
Well…

Maybe TV could be considered an art form in its own right when not represented by its base forms (“America’s Home Videos,” “Wipeout,” “Dancing with the Stars” and “Idol” — I am looking at you).
Yet how can this be?

It’s actually fairly simple. If you would believe it, it starts with watching the right shows. And lucky you, I have assembled a guide to the best TV watching this fall. Note: This is incredibly biased and not in any way objective.

“Community”
Why to watch: Seriously, it’s the best traditional sitcom on television right now. And while fans of the series lamented Jeff and Annie’s creepy relationship, (seriously, what the f**k; he’s in his late 20s, and she’s still in her teens. Not OK, Dan Harmon) the show still has a lot of life left in it, especially after epic episodes such as “Modern Warfare.” After all, “Abed and Troy” are still around, and as long as they have after credit teasers, the world will remain a good place for TV fans everywhere.
Why it’s art: “Community” subverts traditional TV tropes — the will-they-or-won’t-they, buddy-friends-fringing-on-homosexual relationship, sassy black woman, old guy who can’t remember anything — and reinvigorates them through sly misdirection that keeps the show fresh. Furthermore, the show always makes full use of its characters, so newcomers can enter the “community fairly quickly.” Plus, the show’s dissection of accepting awful luck, such as ending up at a community college, is one of the most fascinating character studies I have seen in a while.

“Bored to Death”
Why to watch: A must for quasi-intellectuals everywhere, myself included. The show details an overeducated, alcoholic, pothead, spiritually starved journalist and one-time novelist’s foray into the criminal world as an unlicensed private detective as played by Jason Schwartzman. Naturally, he’s incompetent and tries to deal with rash and illogical criminals in a logical way, which doesn’t work and is half the show’s fun. Oh yeah, and if Zach Galifianakis doesn’t sell you, nothing will.
Why it’s art: A surprising amount of nuance is spent on character development. In particular, the protagonist’s desire to quit drinking to appease his ex-girlfriend, and his consequential failures, is particularly mapped out over several episodes in ways that a novel or film couldn’t compare with. Throw in the reflections on a vacuous life by a Playboy newspaper editor, as played by Ted Danson, and you have got a great show. Plus, it makes a clever use of empty space in plotting to emulate real life, so that it never feels boring but instead like the day-to-day that we all encounter in the real world.

“It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”
Why to watch: Charlie Day is allowed to open his mouth in every single episode. Some of the best quotes: “Here’s a confession: I’m in love with a man. What? I’m in love with a man … a man named God. Does that make me gay? Am I gay for God? You betcha.” Or, “And I’ll take that advice under cooperation, alright? Now, let’s say you and I go toe-to-toe on bird law and see who comes out the victor?” It’s kind of like Seinfeld, but meaner, and with dead baby jokes, cocaine jokes, unbridled racism, prejudice and the extremes of selfish behavior that would make George Castanza look like a saint.

Why it’s art: Every episode challenges your convention of what you think is acceptably funny. Is it OK to laugh as the gang tries to decide if Dee is dating a mentally retarded man and that when she dumps him, she finds out he is? Or how about when faced with a dumpster baby that the gang tries to make into a child actor for a quick buck, but then drops back in the dumpster when he proves unprofitable? Or better yet, how about destroying a Mexican family home via “Extreme Makeover” in order to win some good karma, all while trying to Americanize the poor family with threats of violence? The answer isn’t easy, and while some might dismiss “Sunny’s” humor as crass and superficial, the attuned viewer will appreciate the subtle dissection of cruel comedy.

Other runners up
“30 Rock” finished last season strong despite a middling performance there for a while. Here’s to hoping the writer can control the characters’ eccentricities and faults this season instead of blowing them up into one-dimensional clowns as was the case last season, expect for Tracy Jordan. Anything that man says is pure gold and should not be messed with.
“The Office” is in its last season with Steve Carell. Why shouldn’t you watch? As long as it cuts back on its Dwight time, it should be another great season and possibly the last good one.

Anyone who says “American Dad” is just like “Family Guy” is lacking a brain stem. “AD” is good, absurd humor. That is the kind that still takes time for nuanced character development before launching us into complete absurdity, such as a fight with a crocodile. Seriously, though, just watch the show.