One student's post-college stress

We all have had some experiences as kids growing up that make us apprehensive about facing life.
I never thought that marbles would scare me to death. I nearly choked on a marble when I was 4 years old. And from then on I have had a negative association with the little glass devils. Now that I’m older I have some new fears that I never expected.

Fear is one of those complex emotions that can stop individuals from doing what they want to do. Or even stop them from trying. In less than a month, I will have to face the uncertainty of the future — that fear of graduating from college and moving on with life.
Six years at UNM will end. Fear is occupying my thoughts, causing me to act illogically because there’s so much to do and think about.
Normally, I don’t worry about something in the moment. But as I’ve gotten older, my anxiety has increased particularly when it comes to career choices. No one wants to be stuck in a bad career or dead-end job.

I view myself as the black sheep of my family. My parents are super organized about sticking to their five-year goals. They plan out their days. My older sister knew what she wanted to do with her life right out of college and went and did it. And me, I don’t know what I’m going to do. My parents get frustrated with me and tell me, “You have no focus.”

I hate the word focus.
How can I focus if I don’t even know what the right choice is? What if I make the wrong choice or find I’m not good enough for what I want to do? I guess this doesn’t make sense since I’ve been working in publications for four years. But even after years of experience in one field, I still feel unsure.
A new CNN Money report said that new college graduates have 40 percent fewer job prospects in this job market.

I talked to a friend about applying to graduate school because the job market is so competitive. Developing additional skills would make me a more attractive job candidate. The perfect program for me is in New York City at the Pratt Institute. It offers a two-year program for full-time students. The curriculum runs $12,000 a semester, which would be close to $50,000 for the entire program. That total does not include living expenses, which would be expensive. It’s not the price that’s holding me back — that’s what loans and scholarships are for. It’s the fear of not being accepted to the school.

It’s a really good school and how do I know if I’m really that good? This is a question that has plagued me recently. I was talking to my other friend and I realized that there are thousands of people graduating that want to do exactly what I want to do.

I want to use design elements with words and pictures to make the story jump off the page, catching the reader’s attention in a split second. This school best combines those things.

But in the following tale, these students’ fears are way more legit:
I wrote an article last year about two students who survived cancer. One had thyroid cancer, the other had lymphoma. Their treatments were so intense that it was very difficult for them to attend school, yet they still found a way. The feature focused on their challenges and triumphs with the help of faith, friends and families.

The interviews chilled my socks off because they were best friends and because they were so young. Listening to their battles put life into perspective, and I felt it was important to tell their stories. I encapsulated their story using photographs and design to evoke dramatic emotional responses from my readers.
And that’s what journalism is all about.

I wouldn’t be so nervous if I had the opportunity to start college over. I would graduate in four years instead of six. I would strive for better grades and a higher standard, because grades do matter.

I would take the right classes (I didn’t decide my major until late in my junior year). I would know how to plan my class schedule, when to take classes and utilize summer school. I would actually finish my second major in economics.

In retrospect, I can look back over these six years knowing that I’ve accomplished more than I originally expected coming into college. Yes, I took those intro classes and found them to be rather fun. Although I didn’t devote much time to extracurricular activities, I did find my passion, journalism. This is the field that I will be pursuing, as this journey ends and a new one begins.