*April Fools’ disclaimer
April Fools’ comes once a year, fools.
Today’s paper is full of satire, nonsense and non sequiturs.
Read up, drink up, shut up, play hard.
For entertainment purposes only.*
After 121 years, the UNM officially changed its name to the University of Notable Moneysuckers.
More than 75 percent of University students petitioned the legislature to change the University’s name to a more appropriate slogan that reflects its mission.
Student James Joons, organizer of the event, said he gathered more than 500 pages of signatures in a petition, presented to the legislature, from supporting students, staff and faculty.
“Money — that’s the bottom line with the University and we wanted to show that,” he said. “They don’t care that students are struggling and having to make hard decisions. Some are asking themselves, ‘Do I pay for tuition this month, or do I pay for food and rent?”
Jeff Straton, president of UNM Students United, said students are getting creative using Ponzi schemes and renting out their parking spaces to pay their tuition.
Administrative representatives said they disapprove of the University’s name change and are working hard to get it reversed. They declined to comment about student’s struggling to pay for tuition, although administrators are looking into money-saving solutions for students, such as taking back the fundings that were virtually promised to certain student groups.
