by Abel Horwitz
Daily Lobo
When I started writing for the Daily Lobo four years ago, I had two goals in mind. The first, and most important, was to interview Natalie Portman, woo her with my witty banter and dashing good looks and thus begin the greatest love affair of all time.
The second was to deliver my opinions on pop culture and other such trivial matters to the hungry minds of the Daily Lobo readers.
Unfortunately, goal number one has not been achieved - yet.
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No matter. I'm hoping for a lifetime of jobs with various entertainment sources that will put me into prime Portman-interviewing positions.
I can proudly say, though, that the second goal has been accomplished. After a few years of movie, music, television and the occasional theater review I'd like to think that I've developed a valuable skill of journalistic criticism that can only come after wasted hours thinking of ways to kindly write "This movie sucks" and then stretching it out to 500 words.
Truth be told, some of my favorite moments on the job were the phone interviews with assorted comedians, musicians, artists and promoters that I've written about. Sometimes, the essence of their personality doesn't quite come through in the published article.
I never admitted that Internet quasi-celebrity Tucker Max is one of the smartest and most quick-witted people I've ever spoken to - yet truly a major asshole.
"Boondocks" creator Aaron McGruder, for as controversial of a figure as he is, has one of the laziest philosophies on life ever.
Comedian Mike Birbiglia is 10 times funnier than fellow comedian Dane Cook will ever be with only half the personality.
Several interviews that will always stick out in my mind are two of my childhood heroes. Magician David Copperfield, who turned out to be a pretty nice guy, and rocker and workaholic Henry Rollins, whose mouth can barely keep up with his brain.
I've had fun with this column, trying to give you a head's up on what's going on in the world of pop culture. Admittedly, though, my track record's been pretty bad. I predicted that "Big Momma's House 2" would flop at the box office - it debuted at No. 1. I declared South Park could get away with murder by airing a picture of the Muslim prophet Mohammed - the image was censored by Comedy Central. I said "Brokeback Mountain" would sweep the Oscars - the Best Picture award went to the far inferior "Crash."
Oh well, at least I tried.
What a long, strange trip it's been these last four years. I'd like to thank everyone who has read my work at some point and especially anyone who has come up to me and told me they didn't think my last article was funny and that I should try harder next time. Seriously, your criticism helped.
And lastly, I'd like to give an extra special shout-out to the three editors I've worked under - Marisa Demarco, Jessica Del Curto and John Bear. Without you asking me to write about all those art shows, poetry slams and experimental theater performances, I would still be convinced that there's nothing to do in Albuquerque on Friday night. Oh yeah, and the one time the Daily Lobo paid for me to eat at a restaurant and write a review about it. That was pretty sweet.
Goodbye, UNM.
