After a year and a half, they considered themselves a married couple - 16 years later, it may be legal.
Ann Nihlen, chairwoman of UNM's Department of Language, Literacy and Sociocultural Studies, and her spouse, Lisa Wisdom, were one of the 26 same-sex couples who had their marriage licenses recorded in Bernalillo County on Feb. 20.
"We stand without these rights and privileges," Nihlen said. "It wouldn't have changed our relationship at all. We've weathered bigger things."
They were discussing the issue that morning, and it occurred to them that if they wanted to go down and get married, they needed to do it quickly.
Their marriage was filed at 2:10 p.m. As they walked out, there was a big wedding announcement complete with cheers. Nihlen said the lines just kept getting longer, and couples scrambled to find witnesses.
"There was a lot of joy there that day," Wisdom said. "Love is the thing, isn't it?"
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They are now able to enjoy all of the benefits that come with marriage. But they have already been reaping those benefits for years at UNM.
Nihlen said the couple was on its way to go swimming at Johnson Center about 10 years ago when an employee stopped them and said Wisdom could not enter because she was not a family member.
"That was the wrong thing to say," Nihlen said.
She said she asked for two things from the employee: to fix the problem and for a letter of apology.
When he refused, Nihlen said they filed a grievance with the University because Wisdom had been allowed to enter the center as her partner before, but this time she wasn't.
The couple worked with UNM's Office of Equal Opportunity, campus administration and another couple to fight for same-sex couple benefits.
Nihlen said within a few months, those benefits were granted to them.
"It felt wonderful, absolutely," Nihlen said. "This is my civil right."
The policy also extends to heterosexual couples who can prove they have lived together for some time.
Nihlen said it is a privilege to be able to be out as a homosexual couple while homophobia is still alive and well. Because Nihlen has tenure at the University and Wisdom is an established lawyer, she said they haven't been vulnerable to harassment.
"We had an economic and professional kind of safety net that a lot of couples don't have, and I think that allowed us to threaten to sue the University in the past, but also helped us today," she said. "We can talk to you (the press) - that is a privilege a lot of homosexual couples do not have."
Nihlen said, initially, their mothers weren't thrilled with the idea of the two being a couple, but the family's adoration grew.
"I suppose they had their doubts, but they honored us by letting us be," she said.
Nihlen is also the birth mother of the couple's son, Luke. She said it was always a worry of hers to make him feel comfortable while growing up in a lesbian household.
She said Wisdom had often considered adopting Luke, but they never got around to it. After their marriage, Nihlen said they no longer had to worry about adoption expenses because Lisa is now their son's stepmother.
She said they have always considered themselves a couple and have pride in raising a healthy son with a solid family surrounding them.
"It is one of those things where you want to make a public statement with a person," Nihlen said. "But, we wanted to make sure we had our civil rights that marriage would bring."
