Robert Meyers, author of Get Your Loved One Sober, knows as well as most people that alcohol has devastating results.
He said he grew up watching his mother strive to get his father sober in a household dominated by alcohol abuse.
To escape, Meyers joined the Navy at 17. He said he watched his mother suffer until she died at 45 - his father was still drinking.
In the book, he writes that he has always felt his father's addiction somehow contributed to his mother's early death, and he said he never saw the family achieve the kind of lifestyle they wanted to have.
Meyers said he has dedicated 27 years of his life to "increase happy and non-drinking times and basically extinguish the drinking times" in families.
"I did this for the humanity," Meyers said. "I don't want people to suffer if they don't have to."
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He said the book, co-written by Brenda Wolfe, has been out for about a month and is aimed at people who have "tried everything" and are at their wits' end in getting their loved ones sober.
"I am addicted to helping people in addiction fields," he said.
Meyers, who is also the associate director at UNM's Center on Alcoholism, Substance Abuse and Addictions, created the Community Reinforcement and Family Training model used in the book.
The CRAFT approach encourages positive reinforcement and teaches concerned significant others, or CSOs, to take a better hold of their lives. Meyers said CSOs are important because they know the addict's targets and behaviors.
The book suggests alternatives to nagging, pleading and threatening.
He said instead of telling alcoholics they are no good schmucks because they drink, the program encourages CSOs to play it safe, talk to the addict while sober and suggest enjoyable activities while making treatment look like an attractive option.
"Basically we're saying if other methods aren't working, get another coach," he said.
Meyers said it's human nature for people to get angry, fed up and continue yelling, but positive interaction with the drinker can really help change their behavior.
"It is OK to be angry, but do the right thing about it," Meyers said. "Don't support it, don't do nothing and don't get hurt."
Meyers said most people know someone who has dealt with alcoholism, and this book is the type of book that will help those people.
"We've had very few people the hasn't worked for," he said, adding that the program's success rate is anywhere from 64 to 76 percent in getting people into treatment.
Meyers said he wrote the book many years ago and just put it on his shelf. He said the book was denied by at least three publishers before it was contracted by Hazelden.
After all those years, he said he still has a great passion for his work. By teaching CSOs how to stay safe, he said the side benefits could make entire communities safer.
