by Abigail Wheetley
Daily Egyptian (Southern Illinois U.)
(U-WIRE) CARBONDALE, Ill. -- The anniversary of Roe vs. Wade was last week.
There were speeches, tears, protests and Lifetime movies. All in all, and good time was had in the midst of one of the most controversial topics ever brought before a society -- abortion. On this topic, I would like to say my piece.
The first time I got pregnant I was 19. I was deeply depressed and dependent on alcohol and marijuana to get me through the day. The father was a user of much harder drugs, and was occasionally physically and verbally abusive to me. I had no money, no job and no hope for the future. I chose to have the baby.
The next time I became pregnant I was 21. I had just left the man, then my husband, and taken with me our daughter who had been born the year before severely disabled. I found out I was pregnant two weeks after leaving my husband, I had no job and no way to get one as I had a disabled child that no day care would take. I was living at a friend's house and my family was out of the country. I chose to have the baby.
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My daughter died July 21, 1999, finally free from her pain and suffering. My son was 9 months old and I had decided to marry the man who is now my husband. I was back in school, on medication for my depression and my family and friends provided me with a great support system. My fiancÇ and I had just bought a house and decided that after we were married, we would try to get pregnant. Six months after the wedding we were and my second daughter, Emily, was born on Dec. 11, 2001. I chose to have a baby.
The first two times I got pregnant I think few people would have been able to stand in judgment if I had chosen to have abortions. My life would have been very different and I don't think for the better. It was hard work, but I am eternally grateful that I did it, for myself and for my family.
However, I made the choice, each time, to have the baby. I sat down, by myself, and thought it through. I weighed the options, prayed, looked ahead and considered possibilities. I went forward with the pregnancies knowing that I had made a choice. If I hadn't had a choice, if being pregnant in those horrible conditions meant that I had to have a baby, I wouldn't have been the mother I was able to be. I wouldn't have had a reason to consider parenthood or any other reality. I would have bitterly resigned myself to the task at hand and either done it, or given the children up for adoption.
In retrospect I think I can say that after having been forced to give birth twice, I wouldn't have chosen to do it again.
Except for one, all the girls whom I know have been pregnant at one time or another. All of them have made choices, and some of them regret what they chose to do. Pregnancy is affecting, no matter what way we look at it. I think that even the pro-choice movement lost sight of that at times.
Abortion is something that never goes away, and should never be taken lightly. Neither is adoption, or childbirth.
If you should find yourself pregnant, don't despair. Go and celebrate the freedom you have by making a choice.
