Ever since new computer and special effect technology swept up the movie industry during the mid and late '90s, previously dying genres seem to be coming back to life --including horror. "Darkness Falls" is the new suspense/horror Sony Pictures flick released last week.
But not all things that are dying should be saved, or even resurrected for that matter.
"Darkness Falls" is one of those movies that was only created because advancing computer technology made it much more feasible for films of its variety to appear on the big screen.
But don't let that genre stuff fool you, this movie is about as scary as realizing the guy at the counter forgot to put butter on your popcorn.
The movie begins with a brief, albeit not too bad, synopsis of the basis for the film. See, there was this nice old lady who liked the little kids of her town and gave them gold coins for their baby teeth -- sound familiar?
Then, as will typically happen to nice old ladies, she is horribly scarred when her house burns down and then is mistaken for some kind of a monster and hanged by the kind and compassionate citizens of Darkness Falls.
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And since horror movies usually depend on a little bit of revenge, this little incident ends up working out for the best.
She places a curse on the citizens of the town that will kill children who dare to peek at her ghost when it comes for their last baby teeth.
Sure it sucks for the kids, but think about the poor orthodontists. With half the kids getting scooped up and beaten to death by this modern day tooth fairy before they need braces, it sounds like the orthodontists might just have a good case for a class-action lawsuit.
Just one of the many reasons why this movie should not be taken seriously, is the blending of predictable, clichÇ movie adages, such as the troubled young man that comes home to save the day, or that the women he has loved since childhood has married the biggest jerk in school.
And of course, the ending is the most predictable thing about "Darkness Falls."
Additionally, the acting in some of the scenes in "Darkness Falls" is as bad, if not worse, than any other cheap, B-movie horror flick in history. Truly, the "Let me get that piece of gravel out of your scalp" line may just be the worst one in a movie ever, no joke.
Director Jonathan Liebesman, and his relatively unknown cast, may have been better off passing up on this script, but the Hollywood executives who approved its production should be crucified on top of the Mt. Cahuenga, right next to the Hollywood sign.
Undoubtedly, if you see this movie, and there actually is somebody else there, they will be laughing instead of frightened and you will have wasted eight bucks.
"Darkness Falls" is rated PG-13 for horror images and strong language and somehow, probably because there are a lot of dumb people out there, was the number one-grossing movie at the box office last week, taking in more than $12 million and showing on more than 2,800 screens.
