by Richard M. Berthold
Daily Lobo Columnist
When fresh out of graduate school I joined the UNM faculty in 1972, I had a career in mind: move on to a more prestigious institution in a few years, become a full professor by 35, establish a national reputation.
This notion did not survive my first couple of years, as I gradually realized that I did not have the proper attitude and inclination to become a professional academic as I saw it defined around me.
I had somehow managed to get through graduate school with nothing undermining my belief that most academics were honest, sensitive, responsible and committed to the truth and to students. This naãve vision of the university was quickly dispelled by actually being a member of the faculty and associating and working with academics, particularly in the context of the department meeting. While I found many faculty members who strove to match my idealist vision, I also discovered an astounding number who seemed to have little or no regard for what I deemed most important in academe: truth and students. I was almost bowled over by the backstabbing, hypocrisy, pettiness and outright dishonesty I saw displayed about me, all carried out in an atmosphere of utter serious and inflated self-importance.
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Well, Berthold, wake up and welcome to the real world, at least insofar as it exists in the Alice-In-Wonderland environment that is the American university. My desire to be seriously committed to this academic world collapsed completely, as I realized I had absolutely no desire to focus on those things of prime importance in climbing the academic ladder. A proper serious attitude about the profession (not history, but the profession), an enthusiasm for attending conferences and engaging in professional networking, writing typically tedious academic tomes accessible to only a handful of scholars and concentrating on your graduate students are in many ways the prime directives of the profession. An interest in undergraduate students appeared to have fallen off the list altogether.
My interest in conferences evaporated when I attended one for ancient historians and found that outside the formal papers (mostly incomprehensible) there was little discussion of classical history amidst the posing, dossier waving and endless discussions about the profession and what restaurants to visit. And while every piece of academic crap I have written has been published, I am not much of a scholar and have focused instead on teaching at the undergraduate level, which suits my personality and interest in being a popularizer, bringing the glories and silliness of the classical world to people who never realized this stuff could be interesting. Sure, this is self-serving, in that I and my ego love being in front of classes, but close to 20,000 students have enrolled in my classes and many appear to have carried off some understanding of Greece and Rome.
So I never moved on to a better school or got promoted to full professor. Instead, I spent the next 30 years of my life at UNM, having a hell of a good time and, I think, providing New Mexico with a service through my teaching. That now comes to an end, and I am retiring from the University at the end of this current semester. This decision has not come easily, since this is not just a job but part of my identity, but growing harassment by persons in authority at the University, most particularly the provost and chair of my department, is now driving me into retirement.
Two years ago, former President Gordon told me I was a "tremendous asset" to the University; this semester my department judged my performance as a professor for the last 15 years to be unsatisfactory. I am now charged with sexual harassment and profession misconduct on truly risible grounds and have been made subject to a standard of speech and professional behavior that I consider unconstitutional. Possessing a weaker personality than I had thought, I no longer have the stomach to battle this garbage.
I will miss you students. I have had a lot of negative things to say about students at UNM, but you have been my bottom line and what has given this job its meaning -- and its fun.
Apart from many of the staff, I will miss nothing else about this institution and its growing commitment to interests outside of and pernicious to what I understand a university to be. I hope to do the odd guest lecture and write a few more columns, but this is essentially it.
Goodbye.
And thanks for all the fish.
