by Michael Carlson
Daily Lobo
Humorist and syndicated columnist Dave Barry discussed a variety of issues including stupid states, parenting, old age and his friend, Stephen King, at Pope Joy Hall Wednesday.
The sold-out lecture was part of UNM's 21st Century Speaker Series.
"I live in Miami," he said. "I moved from the United States in 1986. That's something New Mexicans have in common."
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Barry said he enjoys living in Miami because of its wonderful stories.
He referenced an incident where a man was nearly killed by cocaine falling from the sky. He said some drug dealers were being forced to land their airplane by customs agents. To avoid getting caught with narcotics, the dealers began dumping the drugs from the plane before it landed.
"In South Florida, it's just not enough to say no to drugs," Barry said. "The official state motto: can't spell it without duh."
Barry said he also wants to fix the voting problems in South Florida. To do that, he thinks the state should put pictures of the candidates on the ballots. That way, voters can just punch a hole in their candidate's eyeball.
"Some voters would poke out their own eyeball," he said.
He also advocates the death penalty for those who use low-flow toilets.
Barry said he was once a regular newspaper reporter. He said he was really bad at going out and talking to people. Thinking on his feet is not one of his skills, he added.
He plays in an author band called the Rock Bottom Remainders, which includes writers Amy Tan and Stephen King. He said the group has been described as a hard-listening band.
Answering questions from the audience, Barry said King is a normal guy but his fans are not. He referred to an incident during a show in Nashville, where one of King's fans set her fingernails on fire. Barry also said King likes to take liberties with songs.
Barry is the author of more than 20 books, which include Dave Barry in Cyberspace and Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys. Barry also calls himself a continuous candidate for the presidency, stating that someone should never stop running for president.
"I think Ralph Nader stole some of my votes," Barry said. He said people really meant to vote for Barry but got confused and voted for Nader.
He also serves as inspiration to younger writers.
"I loved it," said Aaron Fraile, a UNM student. "I'm a huge Dave Barry fan. I'm a writer who has been influenced by the stuff he has written."
Older fans also turned out to enjoy Barry's lecture.
"I loved it," said Richard Thatcher, a school teacher in Truth or Consequences. "I thought it was funny."
