I was wondering what sound advice I might give this week, when it occurred to me that I'm not particularly fit to advise anyone at the moment. Still, I can make observations.
I've been reading a lot of Jane Austen, another writer who was generally more inclined to observe than to advise. One of her common themes is this:
Nearly every conflict is brought about because people are too busy kowtowing to propriety and appearances to say what they feel. Thus, everyone's happiness is held in jeopardy until the last possible moment, when the heroine is finally saved by a transgression against propriety.
I was struck by this theme because it made me realize that things haven't really changed.
Of course, corsets are out of vogue, women currently have more options than marriage or permanent parental dependency, and pre-marital sex is pretty run of the mill. Yet even though the details of propriety have changed, we are still too often as bound by appearances as those in the world of my early 19th century friend.
Take, for example, the government's eagerly heeded instructions following Sept. 11. Go to work and buy stuff - especially red, white and blue stuff - so the terrorists won't think we're afraid.
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While many of us may have felt afraid, and certainly many at least felt grief, we were asked to put our real feelings aside in order to appear tough.
Just a wee bit of repression. Still, I can't help but think that the few classes I cut to cry in my apartment and wait by the phone had no effect on the terrorists whatsoever.
And if the immediate pointlessness of that repression weren't enough, look at what's happened since. The flags decorating every other car and house - the outward signs of our fine patriotic fervor - are nearly gone. The war itself is little discussed or noticed. Less than a year later, it is already evident that many of those who had the greatest appearance of patriotism had little more than that.
The University's handling of Professor Berthold's ill-timed remark was another case of propriety overriding sensibility.
I thought implementing any form of disciplinary action was ludicrous and an affront to freedom of speech. But those arguments all have been gone through quite enough.
Regardless of your view on the matter, you have to admit that the administration's actions were hardly calculated to accomplish any real purpose. No, other than depriving students of the option to take certain classes with Berthold, the reprimand hasn't had much concrete effect.
Then there's the wholly non-political matter that really called Austen's words to mind.
I've watched a few too many people ardently pursue romantic interests, and then let them slip out of their hands rather than expose themselves to rejection no matter how blatantly those romantic interests were flirting back.
Well, I still have no advice. But the next time I'm faced with a choice between risking looking bad or failing to try for what I truly desire, I hope I'll choose the former.
by Sari Krosinsky
Daily Lobo Columnist
Adventurous souls e-mail Sari Krosinsky at michal_kro@hotmail.com.
