Editor,
I'm beginning to think the Middle East crisis is not completely hopeless; and, that we, the United States of America, should make the most of the situation. It seems a major part of the problem is that Arial Sharon and Yasser Arafat hate each other.
So, I believe Colin Powell should propose that the two men duke it out in Jerusalem in a kickboxing match, with the Wailing Wall as a backdrop. The only rule would be: no guns, knives, tanks or bombs and neither could quit fighting - except during mandatory television time-outs.
Of course, they would both die of a heart attack or other causes within a round or two, which might immediately resolve much of the current crisis, so that we could proceed with chiseling out a legitimate peace plan in the interest of both sides and the world.
Just think, the event could be the ultimate in "Celebrity Boxing" enabling us somehow to forget the classic Tonya Harding versus Paula Jones slugfest. The match could be carried internationally on CNN, and I'm sure it would have extremely high viewer ratings - which is the main thing - regardless of the outcome.
You could include some really neat, expensive commercials, similar to those for the Super Bowl, and then air replays of the action ad nausea on ESPN's Sportscenter. The television talking heads could discuss the fight for weeks, by having guests including Pat Buchanan, Steven Spielberg, Elton John and Mike Tyson.
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All that effort should provide sufficient time for us to find some intelligent and moderate new leaders on both sides of the Palestinian-Israeli fence, while providing a forum for plugging new movies and the basis of many best-selling novels, memoirs and documentaries. In any case, it would certainly support the "market patriotism" needed for the continuing war on terrorism.
Bill Niendorff
UNM student
