We'd like to share with you two stories about loss - a loss of self, of strength and of a solid foundation where feet are planted and richness is provided for growth.
A young woman begins her freshman year. She is the first in her family to attend college; the first to hold her parents' attention, the first who they finally feel will perhaps make their dreams come true. To the student, all these firsts are like dense bricks upon her shoulders, crowding her brain and placing weight on her body.
In her dorm room, she smiles. Her belly grumbles with hunger; she puts silent pressure on it with the palm of her hand. She puts on her sweats and goes running. Classes are intense. Her parents call and ask about her grades and academic goals. When she gets off the phone, she runs again.
She goes to the library and studies through meals. She smiles slightly as she hears others in the bathroom comment on how pretty and thin she looks. She goes to the mirror after they leave, finds some cheek "fat" to squeeze and again questions her thinness.
Friends worry. They express this to her but receive only adamant denial that she is too thin or looks tired. Instead, she feels strength in her ability to self-control. She's able to study longer than others, earn higher grades, run longer and restrict her food intake. Before going home to see her parents for break, she packs baggy clothes. But upon arrival, she cannot hide her emaciated body, and she truly frightens her parents.
A female graduate student is in love with another student. She is funny; loves to dance and people want to be around her. She parties often and likes the feeling of drinking and hanging out with friends. Sometimes she overdoes it. Her boyfriend treats her very nicely. Daily, she fears losing him. The sudden change when he will find someone prettier, thinner and then leave her. She never expresses this fear. She buries it, often under a layer of food - really, under a layer of binges.
Get content from The Daily Lobo delivered to your inbox
Her front teeth are stained and sensitive. She is becoming afraid of her purges because they seem to be stronger than she is. Where once she had a choice of when to vomit and after which meal, now her body vomits after almost every meal. Her belly aches to get rid of the full feeling and her throat burns after each vomit. She no longer needs to induce with her fingers; it just happens. Most of all, she is afraid of getting caught. If he knew, her boyfriend would never want to kiss her vomit-stained mouth again. She feels gross and guilty - trapped alone in this shameful world.
Our society, with its obsession with the "perfect" thin body - flat and with little curves - has planted the seeds of eating disorders. Above are stories about two eating disorders, anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa. The picture of an eating disorder is that of a person, most often female, but sometimes male, who gains a sense of control over herself and her world by following extremely rigid and controlling rules around eating.
This person is either dieting compulsively, allowing only minute amounts of food to enter her system, or she is immediately vomiting or otherwise purging herself after consuming larger amounts of food. Or she is doing both.
Anorexia is a pattern of self-imposed starvation with the goal of "thinness." The behaviors include a severe restriction of food intake, a preoccupation with food/dieting, excessive exercise, and possible overuse of laxatives or diuretics. Physically, they show extreme weight loss; nutritional deficiencies; constipation; dehydration; cracked, yellowish skin; brittle nails; and irregular menstrual periods. Emotionally, they starve themselves to maintain control over their body. They reject their bodies, have low self-esteem and are depressed. They don't believe they have a problem and are in denial of their underweight state.
Bulimia is a pattern of uncontrollable eating followed by purging. Eating occurs over a short period of time, often secretly. Purging includes vomiting, excessive use of laxatives and/or diuretics. The physical consequences include stomach and esophagus pain, loss of normal bowel function, erosion of tooth enamel, risk of dehydration and electrolyte imbalance. Emotionally, the person is painfully aware of her problem and so disgusted and ashamed by it that she tells no one.
The power that food has over a student with an eating disorder can be changed. The change begins when that person finally tells someone - a friend, family member or counselor. The huge secret that was once a hurtful part of her is disrupted. Healing from an eating disorder is a journey that includes self-discovery of feelings and needs, learning new coping skills and the slow, safe facing of difficult fears.
It is a journey that is most successful if taken in the company of a counselor, a physician and a nutritionist. Treatment addresses the physical as well as the psychological aspects of the student. Antidepressants might be recommended.
UNM Counseling and Therapy Staff
For more information or to make an appointment, contact the UNM Student Health Center Counseling and Therapy Services at 277-4537. General nutrition counseling also is available at the Student Health Center, which can be reached at 277-3136. The community also is invited to check out the Nutrition Fair on Wednesday from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the Duck Pond for information and free food samples.
